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(no subject) [Dec. 29th, 2009|01:03 pm]

khaman
I swear before God and Krishna that the people who handle men's dress shirts are paid by the motherfucking needle.

Unboxing a shirt shouldn't be a thirty minute process done while staring at microscopic tools in your hands like you're undoing the Unicorn Tapestries strand by strand.  I don't know what I hate more; needled shirts or that titanium-weld sealed packaging that eats two pairs of your scissors.

I am certain these are the jobs you choose between in Hell.
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And now sleepytime maybe? So tired. So dark! [Dec. 28th, 2009|11:16 pm]

shortpacked
[Tags|]

 Shortpacked!: Or maybe it was Superbook.  

Hey, folks!  Blog's a little late and emaciated, as I've been helping my buddy Graham move all evening.  I do have a new DCUC Hawkgirl I amazingly found yesterday, but I haven't even had a chance to open her.  But that's something to talk about later, at least.  

Later!
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Die Into Life: 7. Red Mars [Dec. 28th, 2009|08:05 pm]

variantconstant
[Tags|, , , , , ]

Title: Die Into Life: Red Mars
Characters: Ben, Charles, Richard, Hurley, Sawyer, Jacob, Jacob's Nemesis, Sayid, OC, more
Rating: PG-13
Notes: 3000 words approx. Ongoing AU science fiction. Spoilers through season 5.

Summary: In the wake of the Incident, the world has gone horribly wrong. Now, some of those who knew the island find themselves struggling with a strange, distant future and a still-relentless Charles Widmore.

With the red planet as backdrop to their plans, the islanders have gathered to prepare a trap for the man in black.  Meanwhile, Richard's part in telling the tale is not yet complete...


What's the worse sin to you, Hugo? )
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Want Cheap Textbooks? Because I'm Pretty Sure You Do. [Dec. 28th, 2009|05:45 pm]

petit
[Tags|, ]
[I am | chipper]

K SO LIKE. Lol. I don't even know how to start this. Wat.

I hate advertising on this blog, since it's my personal one, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

A lot of you are college students and you are often required to buy ridiculously overpriced slabs of bound pages called "textbooks," which are supposed to teach you all the things your professors are too lazy to bother with. And once again, they are expensive. Even buying them used at the bookstore is a terrible idea, because "used" means "maybe we'll charge you five dollars less."

And then, at the end of the semester, after you've put in all this hard work and read the crap out of your textbooks, you go to sell them back and the bookstore gives you peanuts. It's a damn racket.

So, you get sick of that and start buying them online. But even prices at Amazon.com and Half.com are going up because of the lovely economic situation, and they're almost as bad as the bookstores.

So getting to get to the point, there's a website called Chegg.com that lets you RENT your textbooks. It's super cheap (I've never seen a book cost more than $30), they give you a free shipping label to send it back AND I signed up for this thing where I can distribute a coupon code to people I like (or just people in general) and you can get 5% off your next order. And that code would be CC109625. Pretty awesome or pretty awesome? Yeah, I thought do. So help a fellow student out, and if you're considering renting, or you WILL be renting books from Chegg for next semester, keep this offer in mind. And know I do it because I love you. ♥
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Solipsistic Pop [Dec. 28th, 2009|10:50 am]

kev_bot
[Tags|]

Christmas being over, I've decided to give the definite article thing a rest. But not poetry!

This one's a little weird. I had a very definite idea what I wanted to write about when I started, then I got all analytical, then the poem started analyzing itself, and I started off apologizing for my awful social behavior and ended up embracing it. So, um. Here's Solipsistic Pop )
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#386 - Staring Into the Abyss [Dec. 28th, 2009|12:00 am]
orneryboy_comic
While Dirtygirl is troubled by dark dreams, Soya Sauce faces a curious conundrum.

http://www.orneryboy.com/index.php?comicID=386
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Cat bath [Dec. 27th, 2009|11:42 pm]

tvini
[Tags|]


We keep our laundry detergent on the back of the washer, which is in our kitchen. The other day, while the machine was in its spin cycle, the detergent bottle vibrated off of the back of the washer and hit the floor. My husband and I were both in other rooms and didn't think much of it. It wasn't the first time that had happened. Unbeknownst to us, the bottle had landed directly on its lid. The bottle was full. A lagoon of detergent was slowly spreading across the kitchen floor.
And then hilarity ensued. )
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Today I think is a good day to be hugging things. [Dec. 27th, 2009|11:01 pm]

shortpacked
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Shortpacked!@TNI: Year in review.
Shortpacked!: Mail Bag Week!

Hey, look!  My Uncle Jon is holding my awesome new T-Rex Squishable.  Maggie got it for me for Christmas because she knows this is the closest I'll ever get to being able to wrap my arms around Ryan North every night.  Not that he wouldn't let me, it's just the distance, you see.

I should let it hang out with the house's growing collection of webcomics non-book merchandise, like my Monica statue, my Diablo action figure, and my Joyce plush and Maggie's Jinxlet plush.  T-Rex will stomp them all.  Gently.

As today's strip infers, I've been taking questions from my fellow Twitterers and answering them in comic strip form.  It's something I haven't done before, but I'm enjoying it thoroughly, as I get to address some small things that may otherwise not appear in the comic.  I still have some strips for the latter half of the week to do, so it's not too late to submit questions. 

It's a good format for this week, what with the low panel count and the no coloring, since I'm helping my pal Graham move out of his apartment to his new one, right up until the New Year.  It's funny, because as he noted to me today, at this stage in his moving process, I'm basically the only other person around who can actually help him.  Who else is going to be able to know what boxes to put which Transformers, so as to keep them ordered by toyline?  No one but me, that's who! 

Because I'm a dork. 
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And A Nice Chianti [Dec. 27th, 2009|07:05 pm]

liddle_oldman
Christmas Eve Service. We sang "Silent Night". And I wondered, surely I can't be the only one to follow "Holy infant, so tender and mild" with "in a fig concentration with risotto and grilled fennel"?

Or would you go with a balsamic reduction and pollenta?
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Poor George – He Can’t Help It. He Was Born With A Silver Foot In His Mouth. [Dec. 27th, 2009|06:20 pm]

liddle_oldman
I’ve been reading Molly Ivins’ last book, Who Let The Dogs In?: Political Animals I Have Known. This reminds me that I miss Molly Invins.

Winston Churchill once said that success was moving from disappointment to disappointment without loosing enthusiasm (or some such); Ivins personified this. Despite decades reporting Texan and national politics, during the darkest days of the Republican hegemony, she maintained her humor and her hope. One of her columns was addressed to fellow journalists, saying that no matter how bad it gets, one is not allowed to find refuge in cynicism and despair. Keep pointing, and keep telling the truth.

I infringe copyrights and (partially) present the column which occasioned this meditation:

God and Empire: Merry Christmas from Dick Cheney

12.26.03 - AUSTIN -- Vice President Cheney's Christmas card this year not only offers best wishes in this holiday season but also bears the following quotation from Benjamin Franklin at the Constitutional Convention: "And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?" Food for thought there: a heavy meal, in fact.

Interpreting what the Lord intended by one thing or another has always been a dicey pastime. Ten years ago, we had one of those outbreaks where lots of people do ridiculous things and then claim it was because the Lord told them to. That was the summer a family of 20 people from Floydada, Texas, got naked, piled into a GTO (five kids in the trunk) and drove to Vinton, La., where they ran into a tree. Surprised hell out of the Vinton cops to see 20 nekkid people get out of one car. The family said the Lord told them to do it. There was so much of that kind of thing going around, I developed a theory about a dangerous Lord impersonator being on the loose.

I'm not saying that either Cheney or Franklin has heard from a Lord Impersonator, but just for starters on this empire biz, it was the Roman Empire that crucified Jesus. Then your Turkish Empire, not too tasty. Your Moghuls, ditto. Aztec Empire, fairly liberal on human sacrifice. Of the colonial empires -- French, Dutch, British, Portuguese -- all were contenders for the title of Worst Ever at different times and in different places -- but I think the crown probably goes to the Belgian Empire under King Leopold, believed to be responsible for the deaths of 10 million Africans when the entire Congo was Leopold's private plantation.

Of course, in the United States, we like to believe in American exceptionalism, to see ourselves as the Shining City on the Hill, a light and beacon unto all the world, and -- as it says on that statue given us by our friends, the French -- opening our arms to the world's tired, hungry and poor. We would naturally prefer to forget that the country was founded on genocide and slavery, but we have amongst us many nags and scolds who keep bringing it up, especially when we're having one of our snits of American triumphalism.

All I am saying is I wouldn't be all too sure about the Lord's intentions regarding empire. Just a cheery Christmas thought brought to you by the vice-president and me.
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2009|10:59 am]

khaman
As an aside, I ran out yesterday to pick up Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes.

I'll, uh... I'll see you in a few weeks.

(The above constitutes a favorable but ultimately useless review)
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Boxing Day; A Weather Meditation [Dec. 26th, 2009|06:25 pm]

liddle_oldman
Though the forecast was for snow or freezing drizzle, the day was actually only overcast and in the 30s. I went out around 2:00 (having slept in egregiously), had a quite late breakfast at the Wheelhouse, then did the small bit of grocery shopping there was. (I bought dish gloves, as my hands are completely breaking apart – bleeding cracks on the fingertips and bleeding cracks on the knuckles. I though a little protection might be a good idea.)

The edges of the last storm are melting; the streets and sidewalks that were cleared well enough are now clean. Tomorrow it’s supposed to go into the 40s, and that ought to do for more. I realized, recently, that this is a major difference from when I lived in New Hampshire. Then, basically, when the winter froze in, it stayed there.

Someone once commented that there were two unrecognized seasons in the North; Locking and Unlocking. (Unlocking has also been called Mud.) Once you were locked, you were locked; each succeeding snowfall just reinforced the previous ones. In the spring, there would be several inches of ice in the parking lot to melt out. Here, in the south, in Boston, the cycle is snow and thaw, snow and thaw. Often we’ll melt right back to bare dirt before the next storm. Most years it never gets really snowed in.

I don’t know if this is geographical (though the school I went to is only 60 miles north, it’s 1400 feet higher as well), or indicative of climate change, or mediated largely be memory. Tell the truth, now that I have to drive in it, I seriously don’t mind the roads melting back to black. But I find it an interesting difference.
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So, how was your Christmas? [Dec. 26th, 2009|04:33 pm]

khaman
The ordeal is over. I am home, blessed, sweet home. HOME. I can still feel the car moving around me.

My dad is also at his home. He was released from the hospital on Christmas Eve after the final tests came in. It was very close - he was given every sign and warning shot of a major heart attack but in the end, did not suffer one. There is no lasting damage to his heart that they can see at this time. He had the utter crap scared out of him, my mom is probably going to need to up her therapy, and their grocery lists are going to undergo a fairly large series of changes, but he's okay. That's the important part. Thank you for dropping by and showing your concern, that meant a lot to me. *hug*

Otherwise, Christmas for me was both fine and totally sucktacular. The cats, both of them, survived. Dust's stress level pretty much doubled on this trip. They are not closer buddies, although there were several strange moments with them that you could call Christmas miracles. Although then he, being a dumbass, would breach some matter of courtesy and they'd be at war again for a while.

This is fine considering they damn well almost didn't go. We managed to trap him in a box okay, fooled him with a string and shoved his little ass right in there. Her, though. Had to chase her over the house, haul her bodily out from under the bed, wrap her in a towel, and thrust her into the box.

All me. Craig tried, he got Velcro Cat and was completely unable to maintain any control over her. You haven't lived until you've seen a fairly large cat staple herself both horizontally and then vertically to a man's back beyond the reach of his flailing arms. I tried to peel her off. It was like a snapping turtle's jaw. No go. We had to release her and try again fresh. So we had to go with the other option, me.

Don't ask how we then got them to do all this again and get home. My mother in law has learned new words.
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Another Christmas miracle. [Dec. 25th, 2009|10:22 pm]

shortpacked
[Tags|, ]

Joyce and Walky!: Romance.


For Christmas we had this delicious penisloaf.  It was the tastiest part of a cow, garnished with awesome. 

I put so much of this beef in my mouth.
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The Haul [Dec. 25th, 2009|09:36 am]

kev_bot
[I hear |"The Wonderful World of Color," by the Sherman Brothers]

IT'S CHRISTMAS AND EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!!

We woke up? At eight? And then Shawn had to make cocoa so I waited very patiently? AND THEN WE OPENED PRESENTS!!!



IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING: In my hand are The Werewolves' Guide to Life, from Marty, and Bedknobs and Broomsticks from my Grandma and Grandpa, and the Sherman Brothers Songbook from Shawnbook, and I am ALSO wearing a Japanese Tony the Tiger shirt, from Marty! OMG!

And my friend Josh got me the Ace of Cakes book and the Haunted Mansion Story and Song CD, and Shawn also got me Animal Man 3, and the Super Mario Wii hintbook, and a Bruce Springsteen Backstreets calendar, and Grandma and Grandpa got me Bolt (the first Disney movie Shawn and I ever watched in the theater together!) and the new Chuck Klosterman, and Marty got me Dr Pepper boxers and OMG Tracey got me the Allen Sherman biography that is OUT OF PRINT and AMAZING and some intuitive book gifts because Anne Patchett is going to be my New Thing in 2010, and also the Judith Jones book on food, The Tenth Muse, and I AM SO HAPPY!!! HAPPY CHRISTMAS FOR ALL!

Okay, time to go breathe for a moment. CHRISTMAS!
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FO: Giant socks [Dec. 25th, 2009|07:59 am]

tvini
[Tags|]

Sbigsocks2
Pattern: Mine
Needles: Size 1 US/2.25mm
Yarn: Opal Rendezvous with something extra for the top. If I remember what, I'll amend this post.

Notes: The yarn was brought back by my mother-in-law from a trip to Germany. Wasn't that thoughtful? I thought that knitting something nice for her son would be a perfect use for it. Hence, socks for my husband.

This was quite a challenge, as my husband wears size 15 shoes. He has no arches and he says that he always has trouble finding socks that fit in the heel that don't force his toes to curl up. He also wanted them to match, which meant that I had to cut the Opal and finish the leg in another yarn, since otherwise the pattern repeats wouldn't line up. To Opal's credit, their yardage is generous and I have plenty for patching, should it be necessary.
Sbigsockheel
This week I finished up the last of the Christmas Jayne hats and was free to work on these. I've been plugging away intermittently for a year, so all I had was the back of the heel and the leg on the second sock. I stayed up late on the 22nd and 23rd to get almost to the green bit. My daughter, hearing that I wanted to finish Daddy's Christmas gift, gave me some extra time on the 24th to finish the top and bind off.

The pattern is toe up, with a 3x2 rib on the top of the foot and the leg. I wanted them nice and stretchy. The bit through the arch I refer to as the "megagusset" since I had to make it somewhat larger than usual to accommodate my husband's lack of arch. The back of the heel is in eye of partridge for greater sturdiness. The foot is 60 stitches around, the leg is 65, coming back in to 55 for the final inch of the cuff.
Sbigsocks
I'm pleased with how these turned out. My husband had no idea I was anywhere near finishing these, and I think he'd just given up on them. But he didn't wear socks in to the Christmas tree this morning, and just as he was thinking that his feet were cold, he opened this gift. He was delighted.

I'm thrilled that he's so happy with these. They fit him well. Even though he has huge feet, he still deserves handmade socks. Everybody does.

Happy holidays. I hope your day is filled with love, wonder, and warmth.

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Both! [Dec. 24th, 2009|10:26 pm]

shortpacked
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Shortpacked!: Hammy Holidays!

So I'm all like, dude.  Bludgeon-in-tree or hamsters-in-thing?  

Bludgeon-in-tree?

Hamsters-in-thing?

So I decide, why not both?  Why not both indeed.

It's a Christmas miracle!
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Really? [Dec. 24th, 2009|10:16 am]

tvini
[Tags|]

Em is doing this hilarious thing this month. We tell her something outrageous and she's skeptical. It goes a little something like this:

Me: That's because dogs can fly, but only at night.
Her, skeptical: Really??
Me: Yes.
Her, higher and more incredulous: Really???
Me: Yes.
Her, lower and more "oh, please.": Really...?
Me: Heh. No.

It cracks me up. I haven't captured a really good one, but here's a lesser example. We've been telling Em that all her presents are pork chops. (link to AVI file)

Here's hoping your holidays are filled with pork chops and wonder.

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What a blockhead. [Dec. 23rd, 2009|10:00 pm]

shortpacked
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Shortpacked!: Obsolete Translation of Scripture Theatre

Yeah, these days they translate "axe" to "carving tool," and the context makes it more apparent they're talking about idols, but does it really matter whether you take a knife to your tree before you take it indoors and put lights on it? 

I don't actually care.  But today's comic strip was too good an idea to pass up. 

So my Winston's already kinda broken.  The hose to his ecto-gun snapped off at the backpack when I wasn't looking.  Well, fuck.  Do I order another one before he sells out?  Or do I save myself $30 and just tuck the end of the tube behind his back? 

Dammit.

But he's caught himself a spooky skeleton guy!  Look!  Sure, he's not actually a ghost, but I won't fault Winston for thinking so.  He's not gonna fit in that trap, though....

Speaking of Bludgeon, he features prominently in a new prose story from the Transformers Collector's Club that was released today!  It's a Classics story, which means it takes place at the end of the Marvel Comics continuity.  If you're a member, log in and check out "At Fight's End."  

There's also Seacons!
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A Vision Unblinded By Tears [Dec. 23rd, 2009|10:57 pm]

liddle_oldman
Laundry day. I got started late, having run errands and also diddled around earlier. Normally I wouldn’t have bothered with laundry two days before Christmas, but Mrs. P was on her last pair of underdrawers. Usually, at the laundromat I usually go to (it’s the one with the Monster Washer), there’s a selection of customers, families and couples, but today it was full of old guys wearing hats – white guys, Chinese guys, but all old guys wearing hats. There were one or two younger guys wearing hats, just to leaven us a bit, but guys and hats was the theme. (When I mentioned this to my wife, she pointed out that their wives had probably declared "I'm too busy! You go!" as they finished Christmas preparations.)

There used to be a New York photographer named Arthur Fellig, who was more commonly knows as Weegee. Joe Pesci played him in the movie. He was noted for photographing dead people – often so freshly dead that their ghosts were still standing next to them, demanding ”What the fuck just happened??” His style was harsh, often confrontational it its unvarnished bluntness; he was as good as Diane Arbus in making the world look alien and monstrous.

I was reminded of one of his photos. It’s a man, lying facedown on the sidewalk in a pool of his own blood. Next to his outflung hand is a small suitcase, open and spilling clothing. The title of the photo indicates that he’d been on his way to do his laundry. Somehow, in the pathos of that unfinished errand, this is perhaps the saddest picture I know. The meagerness of the lost life; the broken intent of that most pedestrian of chores; even the clothes that will now never be cleaned or worn again. I find it heartbreaking.
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Bite my shiny metal ornament. [Dec. 23rd, 2009|05:52 pm]

tvini
[Tags|, ]

Whose supercool dad gives supercool Christmas presents?
King Bender
Yeah, that's right baby. Mine.


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The Rest of the Night [Dec. 23rd, 2009|08:38 am]

kev_bot
12-23-09

What I’m Reading Now: A Hard Day’s Write, by Steve Turner

We danced; oh, how we danced! The cubbish DJ with the sparkly eyes and abs you could wash delicates on spun 80s track after 80s track: “Gloria,” by Laura Branigan, “Ghostbusters,” “Sweet Dreams Are Made of This,” and on and on. At one point, two drinks beyond my one-drink maximum, I dashed into the bathroom and stripped off my geek. shirt, throwing my flannel on over my sweaty flesh and unbuttoning it down to the lowest button. Because what everyone needs on a Sunday night is to drink in my pale-ass skin and my nerd tattoos.

I returned to the dance floor and Shawn writhed with me a moment before declaring, “Unforgivable!” and heading to the seating area. I thought he was talking about my display of belly hair until I realized “We Built This City” had begun overhead. “We Built This City” is Shawn’s “Never Gonna Give You Up,” which is to say like torturing kittens and tiny, tiny babies, except inescapably in your ears and brain. The only thing I was trying to escape was the creepily insistent older fellow who was trying to be all up in my business. He was sort of hot at the beginning of the night, but as aggression overruled discretion, I lost any interest. I mean, a boy has to have standards.

Night at the Enormous Room ended early – 10:00 or so – but Shawn, Steve, and I weren’t quite ready for the party to end. Earlier that night, we’d made overtures about kidnapping Shawn and leading him into a nefarious scheme involving debauch morality and mind-altering stimulants. Or, you know, Quincy karaoke. )
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Lord. [Dec. 23rd, 2009|07:29 am]

khaman
Guys, I'm getting in a car in like thirty minutes and I just now found out my dad is in the hospital with chest pain. The docs are saying he's okay, but I'm now taking bets on being in a hospital visiting room for Christmas.

Have the best one you can, spare some Christmas cheer around for everyone. I'll be fine, I expect that in about six hours I'll be eating a Chinese lunch and seeing if I can cadge a rum-based Zombie off of the proprietor. Or... five.

Yeah, five. That oughta properly lobotomize me.

Take care of yourselves out there! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

(that leaves a fairly open field)

(oh god, this year. Oh god)
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Real wrath of God stuff. [Dec. 22nd, 2009|10:02 pm]

shortpacked
[Tags|, , ]

Shortpacked!: So there's a use for him.

Yay, I have my Winston!  As you can see, he comes with the containment trap thing.  I don't want to get into too much depth, saving that for a proper "review," but I'll mention the obvious.  Yes, Slimer can fit into the ecto-energy field.  But that damn trap barely stands upright without adding another half-pound of top-heavy weight.  (In the photo, it's leaning up against Slimer's stand.)

So we found out where and when BotCon is next year!  Since Fun Publications took over the convention, me and my friends always sort of joked that they'd take it to hyper-expensive Disney World.  Well, they've gone and done it!  Thankfully, they waited a few years until I had the funds to manage.  So, yay!  And it's in the summer (June 24-27), too, so that means all my friends who are schoolteachers can go. 

In general, I'm pleased.  I don't really care where BotCon is so long as it's convenient for my buddies to come with.  I'll go.  Location's just scenery.

Now to figure out whether I should chip in for a dealer table.  Everyone there's always asking me if I brought books to sell, but BotCon is my Personal Nerd Vacation.  The one year I got a table and sat there all day was probably the most depressing weekend of my life.  Sure, I paid for the trip and then some, but I go to see folks and see things.  So I'd have to bring Maggie to do most of the tabling, but... we'll see.  I've got a few months to sort this out.
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Oh, Lord, I’m Half Horse And Half Naked. [Dec. 22nd, 2009|08:39 pm]

liddle_oldman
A busy day!

I had an appointment with my diabetes doctor, at the Joslin, at 11:30. I had my appointment sheet, my co-pay, and a couple of month’s bG records in a folder – all because Janet had reminded me to pack them. I had been considering parking at Alewife and taking the train, not being terribly confident driving downtown, but in the end I made my way down Memorial Drive and over the half-destroyed BU Bridge successfully. I then called Janet’s phone and left a message – “I made peepee in the potty!” This, you understand, is how I announce that I’ve accomplished something. Usually something that anyone else wouldn’t think was special – parallel parking is a prime example – but that I’m perfectly proud of not having made a hash of.

I was an hour and a half early, so I holed up in a bagel place and had a bagel and coffee. Happy nomming occurred as I read my book, Molly Ivin’s Who Let The Dogs In?

The visit was undramatic. My A1C is up a little, to 8.1. My weight is down a trifle, my BP is good. We fiddled with my insulin regime a trifle, in an attempt to dampen the dawn response that is giving me high numbers (usually over 200) at waking. She peered at my feet, had me bled, and made an appointment for June.

I drove back up Memorial Drive, up Route 2, cross country, and down 128 to Needham, to Jos. Bank. I’d ordered a new suit for interviewing, at half price. All of mine are too small, or had moth holes in them, and are from the 80s. They’d had to order the pants, which were in, so I tried everything on while a nice tiny Romanian lady bustled about and marked the suit for fitting. I went with a modified break on the cuffs, as I know perfectly well the pants will sag and I want a little freeboard.

There’s a Panera’s in the same strip mall, so I went and had chicken noodle soup and bread and more coffee, read my book some more, and hung out. Then I drove back up 128 to the Shaws at the edge of Waltham and got some supplies; tinned squash and fresh fruit and some frozen fruit for Janet’s shakes. Stop’n’Pee had been out of frozen mango, and I got some more pineapple as well. I also got a $1.99 insulated shopping bag, just in case. It was cold out, but it’d be hours before we got home, and of course I can use it again.

Picked up Janet, and we drove to therapy. I asked her to drive, as I’ve been feeling suboptimal for the last couple of days. Her therapist started out in Watertown, and how has a nice place in Lexington (with a Mrs. P Memorial Wing, we joke.) Janet is brilliant at counseling people – I’ve been suggesting for years that some people make a good living at it. Sadly, she’s reality-based, which always sinks my plans. (Me: wry face. Her: wife face.) While she was in session – I read my book some more!

On the drive home, we finished listening to this week’s Wait, Wait, then I played a few things I recently acquired. I finally got a recording of the Playmate’s “Beep Beep”, a novelty song from my childhood, about a Nash Rambler humiliating a Caddy. (It’s interesting, the difference between a loser and an underdog). I also downloaded “Tusk”, which I partially like because it’s backed up by a drum and bugle corps.

Home, and I’m contemplating what to make for dinner. Soup? Pork chop and frozen corn? Raw carrots and hummus? Israeli couscous? So many choices!

Scrambled eggs???
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Merry Christmahanakwanzaativusurnalia [Dec. 22nd, 2009|06:16 pm]

khaman
By this time tomorrow, I will have been in Michigan for several hours and already desperately wishing I were home.

I'm an optimist.

This particular state of mind has led to absolutely no writing whatsoever, which sucks, because I know what to write. I just can't sit and do it. My brain is like this: biking/PANIC/baking/wrapping/packing/PANIC/coughing/shopping/shipping/PANIC/daydream/nyquil induced napping/PANIC/cat wrangling/omg three days/PANIC/lol laundry/dishes/cleaning/PANIC...

And then it repeats. I sit in front of the keyboard and blip! Nada. Oh well. I'll be better when I get home. WHEN I GET HOME ON, LIKE, SATURDAY. So not happy.

I've felt pretty railroaded into this whole thing - it was his idea to pack in an extra day and while he never directly pushed it, I still felt pretty coerced into this. However, to look on the bright side, this means I can get away with a few things. Including going back to my favorite Chinese restaurant in Michigan tomorrow for lunch. DAMN RIGHT. EGG ROLLS.

So, yeah, that all sounds pretty complainy, and it is, but it'll be okay in the end. You guys have a good holiday and I'll see you on the flip side.
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The New Bear's Life Issue [Dec. 22nd, 2009|03:14 pm]

kev_bot
Hey kids!

The new issue of A Bear's Life has arrived! And it features my new article, "Life at the Smorgasbear." Yes, seriously, that's the name of the article. Pick up a copy or subscribe today!

Enjoy!
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The Enormous [Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:15 pm]

kev_bot
12-22-09
Current Word Count: Tangerine, 72, 355 words
What I’m Reading Now: A Hard Day’s Write, by Steve Turner

Folks, this year’s been a rollercoaster. Not just the peaks and the valleys of a Victorian-era scenic gravity railroad, either; I’m talking corkscrewing, multiple inversions, electromagnetically launched motherfucking rollercoaster of a year. Losing my job was pretty much the epitome of anti-fun, but I got a book published and have a contract for two more, so hello lifelong dream edging toward fruition. And while most of the ups and most of the downs haven’t packed as much of a wallop (I’m thinking Disneyversary with Shawn; I’m thinking not being able to afford Camprov), they’ve lasted.

So it is with great joy and a slightly hazy brainpan that I am proud to report that Sunday night was the best night of 2009. )
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It's Indiana and stuff. [Dec. 21st, 2009|11:33 pm]

shortpacked
[Tags|, , ]

Shortpacked!: Cue the pan flute.

Hey, folks!  I'm in Westville, Indiana, now.  I don't have a substantial blog post for you at the moment, but thought I'd be nice and throw up a link to tonight's strip.  I got my Ghostbusters Winston in a box as we were running out the door, so I'll get a photo of him at some point.

He's safe, for now.  I didn't bring my punching Batman.  Though I did bring Bludgeon...

Okay, there's something for today's blog. We were trying to find my hamster Youtube videos on my dad's television, and a search for "Shortpacked!" turned up this awesome LEGO Ultra Car by this awesome dude. I remember his first pass, but not this second pass! The interchangeable expressions and the working arms... that is just way too cool.

Oh em eff jee.

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The Nightly Kevin and Eli Watch [Dec. 21st, 2009|07:48 pm]

kev_bot
[Tags|, ]

You guys, Ke-li are up to it again. By "it" I mean "each other." And by "up to," I mean "having hardcore sexual relations with." First:



In the video from which this comes, Eli is asking, "Whose leg do I have to hump to get a glass of wine around here." Simultaneously, Kevin's shirt says, "We dig the pig." Yes.



This can only be construed as cuddling.



And of course, this picture, which features Eli feeding his boyfriend on the set of Top Chef.

Will somebody please write me some slash, please!? And by "slash" I mean "true accounts of how Ke-li fornicate." THANK YOU!!!
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Fighting evil, but not bad grammar. [Dec. 21st, 2009|07:41 pm]

tvini
[Tags|]

WW no apostrophe
I was out doing a little last-minute Christmas shopping and found this shirt at GapKids on sale. It was the only Wonder Woman shirt on the rack, marked down to $5.98, then marked down an additional 20 percent. Score! I brought it home and showed it to Em, who liked it.

It was only at this point that I noticed the punctuation, or lack thereof. "Girls World" has no apostrophe. Who's doing the quality checking at Junk Food Clothing?

Because it was on clearance, there are no returns. I guess now I know why it was so cheap. Sigh.

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We Got Some Bad News. And We Got Some Good News. [Dec. 21st, 2009|06:17 pm]

liddle_oldman
I’ll give the good news first. I have the car back, and the whole thing cost me $25.

The damn thing was flooded. Which, interestingly enough, was Mrs. Professor’s idea in the first place.

In advance of this weekend’s storm, our new landlord had arranged things for maximum convenience in clearing snow. He moved the trash cans, and the recycling bin, and all the cars, and I don’t know what all. They park one car in front of the house, and one in the driveway. He put all three in the street, so he could snowblow the driveway first. He borrowed our keys from Mrs. P so he could position our auto with his.

Well, it turns out – and this is pretty much the bad news – that if one of these modern cars is cold, and you start it and turn it off, start it and turn it off, it’ll flood. And that, apparently, is what it did.

Well, I swan.

The tale:

The garage called around 1:30 with a report. “Might be the timing belt”, said the mechanic. “But, but, it’s supposed to be new!”, I exclaimed. “Oh, good”, he said, “it might not be the timing belt after all.” He reported that they didn’t expect to have it finished by the end of the day, scheduled cars being before me.

I called Enterprise Auto Rental in Quincy – the one on Billings Road, just behind Wolly Wine – and asked if they had a full-sized car I could pick up that afternoon. They did. I finished shoveling out the space, and headed for the subway. (I swung past the garage, which is on the way anyway, and grabbed the handicapped placard, the toll transceiver, and the gazinta that lets me play the ‘pod over the car’s FM radio). Then, just as I was about to feed dollars into the ticket-dispensing machine at the station, my phone rang.

It was Mrs. P, telling me that Columbia Gulf had called, and I should call them. I did. The mechanic told me that they’d gotten to the car, and it had been flooded. “We thought it mighta bin the timing belt – we weren’t getting any compression at all.” He said that I could probably pick it up in an hour. He also told me that, if this happened again, to floor the accelerator, which would tell the computer to stop injecting gas, and crank it until it started. And, if I start it, warm it up – don’t turn it off still cold.

Isn’t this a bit of an engineering problem? Surely someone else must have wanted to take a short trip in cold weather.

I went to the Sugar Bowl and had a (not terribly good) chicken salad sandwich and coffee, called Enterprise and cancelled the rental, and read the New Yorker (but not the fiction!) for a while. I picked up the car. The mechanic told me I should run it around for a bit and try to clean the spark plugs. The Expressway, at that hour, is the Distressway, so I drove down Wollaston Beach, out Furnace Brook Parkway, and inbound on the highway for a bit.

Let us hope that things are co-operative in the morning. I see now reason they oughtn’t be, but let us hope.

(Just to let me know it’s not just me, there was a terrible smell in the house this morning. Fuel oil? Burning insulation? Bleach? I sniffed around in the basement, just in case, but found nothing smoldering, dripping, or suppurating. Later, though, we heard voices in the basement, saying works like “broken”. The smell has cleared up. At this point, I have no idea. But I do know it isn’t my problem.)
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The Antici ... pation [Dec. 21st, 2009|04:48 pm]

kev_bot
[Tags|, ]

You guys. I, um. Am still recovering from last night. And I have to work in like 10 minutes. But listen: I am working on two entries right now, both longish. One, the narrative one, is about the best night of my year. It is merely narcissistic.

The other, much much longer, verges on lunatic solipsism. It's going to be massive, and I really hope you're all around when the dust settles. But hey, what's an online journal but an excuse to wade through narcissism and solipsism? Nothing, that's what.

Until later (tonight? Tomorrow?) I leave you with my new icon. I've titled it "Bromance," and feel free to borrow it for your own nefarious purposes. Mmmmm nefarious.

It's a GOOD DAY!!!
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Monday. Not My Fun Day. And A Christmas Update. [Dec. 21st, 2009|01:07 pm]

liddle_oldman
Called Triple A in the morning. Tow truck came by; the car continued to decline to proceed; we rolled it back, then forward canting into the street; he towed it to my local garage. They said they’ll call me when they know something. If it isn’t fixed by tonight, we’ll rent a car so Janet doesn’t miss work tomorrow. (She took the day off, and is re-arranging the tree now.)

We settled on a small tree this year, about four feet. I picked it up at a farm stand, and just put it in the back seat. When I picked Janet up at the end of the day, she commented on how it filled the car with scent; I pointed out that it was, in fact, a Christmas-tree air freshener.

We had our usual tree-trimming party, but downsized it. It was just us, Susan, and Susan’s friend Woody. Woody is one of the ménage-a-gangbusters, but, other than being an aging pervert, is a nice guy and fine company. (Mind, I consider anyone who takes their pants off to be at least a bit of a pervert…) He’s sort of a wood gnome with failing eyesight. He and I spent the afternoon finishing my second-best bottle of Scotch.

But, it turned out that we should have trimmed the bottom of the tree better; it began to tilt. This morning, we stripped off the ornaments, snipped the bottom ring of branches, set it more securely in the base, and took off a string of lights that weren’t lighting. We’re going to move it from the foyer to the living room, too; it’s a bit of a space problem, but more traditional, and we can look at it better.

I have to go out and finish the shoveling – when it eventuated that the damn car wasn’t moving, I didn’t bother finishing the streetside mound. Aggravated despair often saves work! It did occur to me that there’s a hydrant on the other side of the street – people have been piling snow in front of it (not on it), and I can add to that. It’s a shorter portage.
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Jayne hat list [Dec. 21st, 2009|12:25 pm]

tvini
[Tags|]

The list as it stands:

1) IL (going out today)
2) Cumbria, UK (going out today)

3) MD
4) UK
5) Sweden
6) ON, Canada
7) VA
8) UK
9) CA
10) WI
11) CA
12) MO
13) OH
14) NC
15) Sweden
16) FL
17) KS
18) OH
19) GA

Just to let folks know where they stand for the holidays. Best wishes!
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In which 2009 is simply going to end on Crazy [Dec. 21st, 2009|11:00 am]

khaman
In Japan, land of madness, one young man embarks on an artistic journey that can only end in despair. This young doujinshi creator has a plan - a pen - and a head fulla crazy.

Have you ever wanted to see Alan Moore as a moe schoolgirl with her God, Glycon residing in her locker?

Yes, you do.

YES YOU DOOO. YOU JUST NEVER KNEW.

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2009/12/20/preview-alan-moore-dojinshi-by-ryusuke-hamamoto/

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, YOU MAD BASTARDS.
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#385 - Voices From the Deep [Dec. 21st, 2009|12:00 am]
orneryboy_comic
As Soya Sauce sits and stares at the waves, some unseen force beckons him from the deep.

http://www.orneryboy.com/index.php?comicID=385
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Seppeku? [Dec. 20th, 2009|11:12 pm]

shortpacked
[Tags|, , , , , ]

Shortpacked!@TNI: Patience.
Shortpacked!: Molestation.

Yeah, Bludgeon's still cutting people in two.  It's been suggested that he go after Animated Jetfire/Jetstorm next, since they also bisect, but we're missing the obvious.  The original Bludgeon splits in half!  

Man, that white paint on the Pretender shell skull sure has gotten bruised.

(I've already told the story about how I was traumatized the first time I realized Bludgeon's hat came off, right?)

Anyway, it's Christmas and all that.  Maggie and I will likely head for Indiana Monday evening.  I've got updates done up through Friday, so we should be all good.  And I'm bringing my laptop and camera and junk, so there should be some updates through the week.  Of course I'm bringing my Bludgeon.  Perhaps he'll get into some Hoosier mischief.

(I bet the Internet will find out where and when BotCon 2010 is while we're on the road.  I just know it.)  

Patch Together finally got the Amber statues out of customs and into their hands last Wednesday.  This week they'll be processing them!  I am stoked.  Stoked, I say!  I even put together a custom sticker for them to put on the packaging so that there's some visual presentation. 

Tomorrow's comic isn't about hamsters. 

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My book! [Dec. 20th, 2009|09:06 pm]

fairy69
[I am | excited]

and other works
By AnnMarie Tornabene
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The New Proof [Dec. 20th, 2009|06:21 pm]

kev_bot
[Tags|]

Okay, kids, I was sort of joking/letting my lust speak for me before, but honestly? I think Kevin Gillespie and Eli Kirshtein actually might be dating. Kevin is going through a divorce from a lady right now, and he recently told E! that he announced it because "he was being seen out." There are kind of a plethora of Kevin/Eli YouTubes out there right now. And then I found this:



Here are the facts as we know them:

(1) Kevin is a super hot bear with tattoos
(2) Eli is a super hot chub with big sideburns and Alonso glasses
(3) They make out with pizza together
(4) They swim in pools together
(5) They have sex in each other's butts and are frequently up on each other's junk.

So, really. The proof is out there.
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Frazem Gratzen Frozem Putfin!!! [Dec. 20th, 2009|05:35 pm]

liddle_oldman
Now the friggerty frakerty car won’t start.

(I will say that the problem with the furnace resolved easily – he just had to fiddle with the water level. I had to mess with that when I lived in Quincy, but I’d forgotten that some furnaces need attention.)

Boston, last night, got apparently the northern end of a serious winter storm, which dumped better than a foot of snow in places where they don’t usually get it – Virginia, DC, the Carolinas. We got not quite a foot of fluffy, dry powder. After my landlord ran a snowblower about the place, I went out to uncover my car.

In a burst of neighborliness – not – someone next door had shoveled out their car by burying the nose of mine. I dug that out (and heaved most of the snow into his yard). I was going to move my car forward, so it would be easier to dig out the tail – and the rip-snafferty bug-snorking engine wouldn’t turn over. It just grinds.

I am beginning to feel put-upon.

It didn’t help that it kept snowing, and there was quite a wind, and the snow was dry and powdery, so that when one went to throw a shovelful, it simply exploded and blew back into one’s face. One advantage – there’s a live steam pipe through the font entrance, so when my fingers went numb, I’d just go in and hold the pipe with my gloved hands until they warmed up.

I dug out as well as I could, and came inside for coffee and instant oatmeal (a fine lunch after manual labor in the cold). In the morning, I’ll call Triple A (should that be AAA?) and get a tow over to my usual garage, and see what they can do. Janet thinks that, rather than rent a car for the day, she’ll just take it off; just now work is pretty quiet. (A co-worker is involved in a developing relationship; she commented that the only reason to go in would be to debrief her to find out if she’d gotten debriefed.)

But, really, in the last six months I’ve put better than three thousand into this damn car, and I doubt it’s worth that in resale value. As irresponsible as it sounds, we might have to invest in a newer car while I’m still out of work.

I am seriously considering whining. Real loud. And whiny. I’m seriously considering it.
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Brittany [Dec. 20th, 2009|03:14 pm]

khaman
She was my age. I thought she was adorable in Clueless, and King of the Hill has been a guilty pleasure.

Fucking McShit, you guys. This is sad as hell.

(brb, going to go sign up for my second echocardiogram of the year out of sudden deep paranoia)
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The Beatles Anthology [Dec. 20th, 2009|12:04 pm]

kev_bot
Um, hi? Someone sent me THIS in the mail:



There's no indication of who it's from! I need to know! I want to thank someone properly! THANK YOU!!! Merry Christmas!!!
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Okay, okay. [Dec. 20th, 2009|11:03 am]

tvini
[Tags|]

bigyellowball
I finally concede that I do need to buy an industrial size ballwinder.


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it's beginning to look a lot like BLARGLELELEARGLEEEE [Dec. 20th, 2009|10:37 am]

khaman
I've been using my husband as a beta for the monster weirdo, btw. It actually helps to have someone who's not in a fandom check over your writing for egregious badness. He's poring over the current crap, so, hopefully I will indeed get a couple chunks past where I am by the time my general 'schedule' has me posting again. It really isn't getting a lot of reads, but it seems like those who do read it dig it, which is all I can ask for.

I'm getting performance anxiety on it, which means I HAVE to finish it. If I can finish this and not give up on it, I'm that much closer to being able to push past the massive anxiety I get trying to finish my own original work. Which means fighting to publish something of my own. I want to do that so very much. Hard, hard work, though.

Meanwhile, unfortunately, it looks like I'm leaving town on the 23rd to suffer. NOOOOOOO. That only gives me a couple days to get my shopping done and everything. Not happy. So not happy. We're doing a crapload of it tomorrow, and I was hoping to get a hat done for my mother. Either knit or crochet; probably knit if I can find my damn needles.
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The Viking Picture [Dec. 19th, 2009|11:49 pm]

kev_bot
[Tags|, ]

To cleanse the palate after my weirdly revealing previous entry, I present this picture of Kevin and Eli from this past season of Top Chef:



Which just leads me to believe that they are Vikings. In the sack. With each other.

The only question now is which one is Bottom Chef?
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From the mouths of not-quite-babes. [Dec. 19th, 2009|11:25 pm]

tvini
[Tags|]


Em's school held their health and sex ed classes last week. I can't believe this is already happening, but must admit that this is the right age to be addressing this. Em doesn't have a whole lot of questions for us about health and reproduction, since we've answered some of those already. However, that's not to say she's not interested. Specifically, she's interested in deodorant although she doesn't need it yet. Nonetheless, she's decided to start using it every day. Fine by me. We happen to have a stick of Tom's of Maine that I had tried but decided wasn't my bag. It's not that strong, so I figure it's not hurting anything for her to use it. I showed her how to turn the base to make the stick rise when needed.

Em: Deodorant is kind of like a glue stick!

I hadn't thought about it, but she's right. And it also shows that she's still a child, although things are changing. I am not ready to deal with puberty, but it's coming, ready or not. Time to gear up for the next phase of parenthood.

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The Top 10 Songs of the Decade [Dec. 19th, 2009|07:47 pm]

kev_bot
12-19-09

What I’m Reading Now: Take the Cannoli, by Sarah Vowell

Here we are, kids. The home stretch. The final 10. Putting this list together was a lot of fun for me. Tough, too: what to take, what to leave, how much adulation my favorite artists should receive, how critical versus how emotional I should be. My explanations below grew increasingly revealing about how these songs affected me, and pointed pretty blankly to the fact that music was my savior in 2005 and 2006, when I desperately needed a savior. I laid myself bare in this entry, and I hope it doesn’t put anyone off too much. As Bruce Springsteen once said, it’s only rock and roll, but it feels like love. )
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Avatar - hang on, picking out a shoe to eat [Dec. 18th, 2009|10:03 pm]

khaman
So, uh, as kind of a response to the year long media hype, I was quite publicly on the fence about the whole Avatar thang.  Got tired of being told how awesome it was going to be, how it was a different treatment of 3-D, how Cameron does no wrong, whatever.

Naturally, because I'm a contrary bitch, I see it the first day it comes out.  (what?  It's still sci-fi shiny.)

Um.

Okay.

Holy fucking shit, that was awesome.


I don't know about the whole 'technological revolution' thing, and no, the plot isn't the Second Coming of Voltaire, but it is solid, solid stuff.  The 3-D succeeds at something that it SHOULD have been intended to do from the start and never did - be immersive, not disruptive.  It enhances the story and the sensation of it, you don't have the whole bullshit thrill ride thing going on.  It adds exhilaration to the scenes that need - air scenes, action, moments where you could use an extra 'whoa' and it doesn't take you out of the movie.  The best thing I can say for the 3-D is that you forget there is 3-D going on.  It becomes natural.  This is right and good and the film remains clear and bright.

As to the plot - it's heartfelt, workmanlike stuff.  Sure, yes, it's Dancing with Stargates in the Ferngully, but it's executed well.  It feels like they took the plot, let some guy read it.  Guy gets up, goes to get a snack and goes 'hey, waitaminute - wouldn't they just unplug the dudes from the avatars/plot hole/plot hole/plot hole?' and rather than handwave that action, they address it.  There's small technical details you could dig into with things, but nothing that truly affects the plot.  If you are at all good at plotting a story, you will be able to outline its third act with remarkable accuracy by the midst of the second, but it doesn't hurt it.  It's executed very well.

Even the fairly massive and literal deus ex machina near the end has a feel of veracity to it.  It doesn't come out of a vacuum, the entire planet is designed to allow this kind of response.  I don't know that it should become a franchise, as people are calling it the next Star Wars, but there's enough meat in the biology of this world and in the mystery of what's going on with earth to hold up more stories.

My one quibble: Unobtanium?  Seriously?  That should just be a flat out Trope Namer.
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You Pays Yer Money And You Takes Yer Chances [Dec. 18th, 2009|07:49 pm]

liddle_oldman
In my betting pool for what would go wrong next, I took "steering pump burns out from debris left by mechanic."

I would have lost, as it turns out. In a dramatic turn of events, our furnace has packed it in.

(The landlord is downstairs making noises right now -- one of the advantages to renting. That doesn't mean he can get it going, though.)
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